Fabulous health and wellness revolves around building really good habits but it's often tricky to make them stick. While covid-19 and social distancing has us isolating at home we've all been given more time to try something new.
How NOT to Make a Decision
"Be wary of any decisions in the 'zag' of life. They are almost sure to be wrong. They will be too coloured by our anger or depression or doubt or discouragement." Rev. Dr. Walter Welch, The Zig Zag of Life, 1980.
How many times have you had to make a decision and you feel stuck? AFRAID to make the wrong decision? WHAT IF this happens or that happens? You pound away at it. You make lists, weight your pros and cons, walk a way, survey your friends, sleep on it, and you still can't move on it! We've all been there!
When Rev. Dr. Welch speaks of the ZAG in life, he's referring to your circumstance and the feelings and emotions in that present moment. Trying to make a decision when you feel less than your best self is really tough. The decision may be rushed, or lead by outside pressures. I like to feel good about my decisions and try to avoid "Ya, but..." self-talk, which is almost always fear based.
So, after you check in with your present feelings, you can do 2 things:
1. Find something to APPRECIATE and let that feeling flow through you. It could be a memory or shifting what you're doing.
2. This may be a little harder to swallow but here it goes, ACCEPT that both decisions are offered to you for your growth. You can't NOT grow. With acceptance you'll find a shift in your stress about the decision and, as you'll begin to relax, clarity can seep in.
Either way, give yourself a little space from your decision.
Finally, and you could do this first if you're ready, you can slow your breath and meditate. I didn't mention if first because sometimes when you head is overflowing and super busy with thoughts the idea of being still and calm is met with a huge amount of resistance. Resistance will just bring you more of the same and add to your stress, so by shifting your mood first you can then find a way to allow stillness.
Be sure to grab my printable meditation cheat sheet HERE.
You know the drill it's time to get still! Ha, ha, ha!
Nice rhyme but you've just got to go there. Like it or not, a calm mind is a clear mind and it's easier to hear that inner voice giving you answers.
Helping you smooth out your day.-Michele
I'm Obsessed with Stress
"Stress is caused by being "here" but wanting to be "there" or being in the present but wanting to be in the future."
Eckhart Tolle
It's in the news, board rooms, schools, Instagram posts, AND on our faces...STRESS is the topic of the day. I analyze my own stress, want to help others manage their stress, read about it and study it. It's exhausting!
But is stress ever a good thing? Well, ya, it sure is, we'd be crazy to think otherwise. Try winning a race or meeting a deadline or giving a speech without the 'pumping up' benefits of stress hormones.
Imagine a runner on the starting blocks of a big race. Now imagine if, in that instant, she sees the finish line, as something to get to, SEPARATE from herself, struggling toward the FUTURE. Got it? Okay now imagine that, instead, she runs the race and heads to the finish line while staying in the moment, WITH herself, happening NOW.
Go ahead and read that again, I had to. See the difference? It's subtle. The second option is in the PRESENT MOMENT which means she's not worrying about the finish line existing in her future. Her goal is still clear but it's HOW she gets there that's changed.
How much of our day involves the split between the present and the future? We still have dreams and aspirations and goals, so how do we get to our finish line and set new ones without creating more stressful suffering? Eckhart Tolle says, in his book The Power of Now, that 'living with this inner split is insane'.
It's true that goals help us to move forward and take action and enjoy life BUT we need to observe our thoughts just to check in to see if we're living in the destructive, stressful state of "I'LL BE HAPPY WHEN xyz HAPPENS." Observing our thoughts when the stress is too much may reveal this split, and just by observing, we can release some stress.
This is what Eckhart Tolle must be talking about when he says, "Stress is caused by being "here" but wanting to be "there" or being in the present but wanting to be in the future."
In all honesty sometimes I don't even want to set goals, I seem to feel like they're so big and so final. What I like to do is aim for is having forward momentum and growth. Maybe it's the same thing as a goal? I don't know.
So, let's go back to our runner for a moment. She has a lot to teach us. She's trained for the race, built up stress, and then 'BAM!', the starter pistol goes off, she explodes into a run and what's happening?
She's spending her stress. Using it up!!!
Whaaat?
Look out, this is big! The runner is releasing her stress but do we do the same? Are we addicted to stress without even knowing it or is our sense of 'normal' stress actually a little out of wack or too much? Let's practise releasing our stress. How? Here's a short list:
- notice our limiting or 'split' thoughts
- play hard, exercise
- laugh, sing, dance
- create
- rest
- find stillness with meditation (grab your simple and fast tip sheet here)
- offer gratitude
Try to be aware and check in to see if the stress of buzzing from one task to the next is over fueling your day and never giving you time to recharge or calm down. I know I've been there. I remember that I used to happily identify with the label 'Type A' personality, as I lived my life, but I was sick a-lot and seldom found stillness. Back then, I used to think that I would lose a part of myself in the stillness. Well, I didn't lose myself, and stillness, meditation, laughter and, enjoying life right HERE, brings me back every time.
You can start or continue meditation practise with my printable cheat sheet HERE.
"Another step on your path." from Michele
Lighten Up-Drop Insecurity and Doubt
"A rainbow is the product of physics working for your appreciation of beauty." Kyle Hill
I want each and every one of you to recognize that you have awesome talents. Now don't you deny it, or make excuses, because you've definitely got them.
Appreciation of your own talents and gifts might just require an attitude shakedown. Maybe you know they're inside you and yet you keep quiet about it. Insecurity and doubt are two friends you don't want to have. I should know, I've been on that yo-yo ride for a long time but I'd like to say each day I feel stronger about kicking them to the curb.
How do I do it? Probably the same way you do, I find my community, my tribe, and within the safety and laughter, I LIGHTEN UP and let go of the need for perfection or fear of failure.
Take your imaginary binoculars and zoom in on your talents; ZOOM IN closely and you'll see that you have many talents. Now find a way to appreciate them. Laugh about them, celebrate them, nurture and allow them to grow.
If you're reading this and a little voice is saying "I can't think of a single talent, and we've all had many of those days, then I say to you, that you're looking TOO BIG. 'Cast the net' closer to home so you can step into APPRECIATION. Maybe instead of feeling disappointment about not having a record deal or earning a living with your music, maybe appreciate that you play really well, or that you support other musicians or that your fingers move faster on the keyboard than before.
Somewhere we get caught in the COMPARISON TRAP and it can feel pretty stifling. Facebook, and social media in general, can really send you deep into that place of 'I'm not good enough'.
The secret sauce is to look at what you DO have going for yourself, not what's MISSING, because if there's one thing I know for sure is that if you focus on what's missing you'll just get more of the same. You've got this!